I m lunatic

I m lunatic

I m lunatic

Do you know how it feels like, being hated, betrayed, bullied, abused? No? Then you will die in flames of hell. The hell in which we live. I was afraid, the fear that swallowed me. The tidal wave of worse things caused by a crack in my shallow heart because of fear. Fear is like a parasite feeding on our fear itself. Retraumetizing my wounds to prove that I want to kill my self. A part of mine wants to go in that way.

The monsters of my past,  the worst nightmares that chased me, haunted me in my every dream until I jumped of the cliff, shouting let me die… Then I realized that those weren’t the monsters those were the same people who do want me to jump of the cliff. Do this, do that and all the things that I was told and raised to think. I have suffered and had my emotions butcher by the people closest to me. I was told that I was a coward, a maggot feeding on the pieces of stinking rotten corpse. I have no place in this world, I should better be dying in gutter.

Fear

What do you think where those powers came from? Your willpower? Hell no! Those are the words that stab you. The words that act like flame that starts a fire and the rage that keeps it burning. Many of us fear darkness because they think it will consume them. But it was only the darkness that made me feel like it’s a part of me. Gave me the reason to live when I had no one.

They said silence speaks louder than words. But it was the same silence that caused many passions to crucify, many dreams to demolish, many lives to end. I know that we are not alike. But you do have a thing like me, it’s a voice. The voice in me that wanted to take a stand. The voice in me that wanted to shout so loud that it will break every barrier and struck like a thunder. I am a lunatic. I am not going to stop believing in me. I am not going to cry about the pain I suffered,  I am going to embrace that pain. I am going to be the invincible beast of a man.

Fear

The passion I live for, the passion for which I will die… Let me sing it this time…

At first sight, I thought people are so kind
But that was imaginarium infection of my mind.

This world is a bad play,  ain’t no humans
Only statues of clay.
These demons and nightmares haunt me
What’s more scary, people taunt me.

In the land of holy spirits
and unholy gansters
They made me monster
and turned my thoughts sinister.

That morning I woke up screaming
WTF!…. I realised I was just dreaming
I found something & that was fear in my eye
Which was stopping me from rising high in the sky..
I wanted to shout and signify
But all they wanted for me, was to die

There were happy faces
When I was born
But when I’ll die
I wish somebody will mourn..

These fake faces, talk about heaven & hell
But they don’t really know
Where angels and devil’s dwell
I can’t keep living with devils
and keep wondering, why am I still in hell?

I can feel something in me that’s The Rage
That’s why everyone else and me,
We aren’t on the same page..
They don’t know my zealous
They call me a traitor
But I wanted to chop them
And feed them to alligator.

I am singing my glory song, but
I don’t know why everything seems wrong
I just wanted everyone with me to sing along
Sing with me, my glory song..

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